2193

Two Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Three

Six years ago yesterday I walked up the gangway on a journey that would change me for the rest of my life. After three days of delay I was standing in one of the top ten diamond producing countries. Unfortunately my reason for being there existed because the country sits in the lowest five percent of countries according to the Human Development Index. There docked in the seven mile wide Sierra Leone River Estuary was the Africa Mercy, the worlds largest non-government hospital ship.

My arrival was in the middle of the night and by the time I woke up the next day everything was rushing by. People going from here to there and the community of 400 people was in full swing. I checked in with my supervisor, the crew bank, getting a tour and all the "newbie" things that new crew members go through. The second day when I woke up the ship was a ghost town. I couldn't figure out where everybody had went. There were some people in the common areas and groups of people at meal times but not the masses of people I had seen the previous day. Come to find out I had arrived onboard the day before a ship holiday. Since the ship doesn't observe government holidays, every six weeks only a minimum amount of people work so that the rest of the crew can get away for a long weekend and recharge. The weekend for me ended up being a time to explore the ship and get used to my surroundings. Unbeknownst to me I would spend over four and a half years of my life walking those halls and climbing those stairs.

Sunday afternoon people started getting back onboard and within no time it was evident what made Mercy Ships so amazing. People. Amazing People. Over my time with Mercy Ships I was able to meet countless numbers of people that had incredible stories and do unbelievable things for others. They would come on the premise of doing their specific job weather this be nursing, engineering, custodial or captaining the ship. In their off times they would be working with locals, volunteering at local ministries and pouring their lives into those around them.


There is no better image of Christ than seeing my fellow cremates serving those around them so selflessly. I look to many of them as role models of who one day I hope to be; working through a weekend to have a project done when the government changes a deadline, making walkers out of pipes to help the orthopedic patients learn to walk again, or scrubbing the depths of the ship to keep the engines running. Those are just a few of the stories that happened on a daily basis.

So, what do i take away from all of this? The biggest is probably that this life isn't about me, it's about serving others. How do they... how do we get enough energy to do all that? It has to come through Christ. When we take the focus off of us and focus on what He would do or what He would have us to do then the energy won't be a question. God will supply the energy moment by moment, day by day. But as soon as you take the focus off of Him and His desires your work will come to a screeching halt.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”- Frederick Buechner

Read More

Short Questionnaire

Stepping into missions can be scary. What happened to get you over that fear?

About six months ahead of me learning about Mercy Ships I asked God to make me conscious of something that He wanted me to focus on. I wasn’t sure where that would be, homeless, food pantry, children’s home etc. When I did hear about Mercy Ships and the surgeries that were being performed I believe that God had prepared me to receive that. The next hurdle that I jumped over was the fact that I was looking for a paying job, not volunteering position. Upon first hearing that it was all-volunteer I kinda shut it out of thought but I couldn’t get over it. The next day I went back online to see if it had magically changed and it still said the same thing “Mercy Ships is an all-volunteer organization. Then I felt like God was teaching me that if I was faithful to him and obedient to what He asked then He would make sure that all of the finances would happen.

How do you serve Jesus by serving others through Mercy Ships?

Working with Food Services it’s already in a “Service” Industry. I’ve always had jobs where I provided a service for people. Here on the ship I can use the gifts, talents and abilities that God has supplied me with to further the work of this community. I have a supervisor that I report to, but when it comes down to it the mental and physical work that I put in go to glorify God through the mission of the community. Healing and equipping the ship, local, and national community that we are set in.

How was your faith impacted during your time with Mercy Ships?

Faith is impacted like any muscle in your body. The more you use it the stronger it gets. The less you use it the more it hurts when you do. For myself the impact and fruit of faith is often not seen till some time later. God builds this root system inside of you that nobody sees and it’s often when he moves you to the next season of life that you can see where God has changed your life.

Why would Mercy Ships be a good organization for someone taking their first mission trip?

Mercy Ships isn’t for everybody, but if you like meeting with people from all over the world, want to make an impact with the work you’re doing then it can be a great fit. There are almost as many different jobs onboard that you can think of and there are all different commitment lengths available.

Leaving everything behind for a little bit can be expensive. How did God supply your needs?

I have a network of supporters that have made it possible for me to serve with Mercy Ships for over four years. If I were to add up all the money I would probably cry to know that people have supported me with that amount of money. Moving into a job that requires international travel, repatriation insurance and no income at the same time is a lot to think about. The people in my support network give at different levels and different intervals but God makes sure that the bills are payed when the need to be.
Sometimes I hear other crew say that they didn’t do any support raising because they didn’t want to have to ask other people for money but when that happens they (potential donors) often miss out on the opportunity to be part of everything that Mercy Ships does. They might not have the time or energy to support Mercy Ships but they are happy to make it possible for people to serve.

Would you briefly share what you do as a Food Services Manager that another Food Service Manager would be interested in.

Most anybody that has been in the Food Service Industry is already aware of the cost and rewards of the work that they do. But with any job with Mercy Ships our effort is multiplied and magnified as we work together and do things that no individual would ever be able to do on their own. I’ll never be able to do surgery on a patient with a large tumor or rebuild a dental clinic that will serve thousands of patients but I can plan, supply, cook, serve and clean up after a meal that give others the ability to do that job. 

The level of food that we serve is much higher than you can imagine. Many people come expecting the most simple basic foods but we try to blow them away as much as possible because we know an army marches on its stomach and the level of food served can make a large difference on the moral of the crew.

If you could share one thing with someone thinking about joining Mercy Ships, what would it be?

Do it. You won’t regret it. Just remember that your life won’t be the same afterwards. Your eyes will be opened to things you never imagined, your heart will be opened to people and nations you’ve never met and your mind will be filled with countless memories that will last forever.

Read More

It's worth it to get stung by jellyfish every once in a while

"Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you - it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart and on your body. You take something with you... hopefully... you leave something good behind"  -Anthony Bourdain

I want to share a few different things that I hope have a strong connection when compiled together. Yesterday was my birthday and on Facebook and through different medias I received an incredible amount of greetings from people across the globe. There have been years in the past where when it came to the middle of June I would take my birthday off of Facebook so that most people wouldn't remember when it occurred. There were always the ones that did remember but not the 100+ that is often found on the annual date. As I would get online and check things yesterday it was a great reassurance that I am loved. It's not the grandest gesture, but those three words "Happy Birthday Josh" reminded me that I am good at relationships.

Last week I visited a mall here in Durban. I was on mission to find, tennis shoes, laundry detergent, some food, and possibly a book to read. When I walked into a bookstore store it was simply because I saw that they were selling books. It wasn't till after I took a wide sweep of the store and saw all kinds of religious things advertised that I realized that it was a Christian store. As I looked around I quickly remembered that there were two books coming for me in the mail and it probably wasn't in the budget to be buying more books but I decided to look for a small devotional book because I'll be sharing every week with the Food Services team and it's always nice to have a consistent theme when sharing with a crowd. As I was looking around I came across the book Scary Close by Donald Miller.

Earlier this week I was on Facebook seeing how different people are. Going from one profile to the next the secretly looking into the life of people I haven't kept in contact with. It's probably pretty safe to say I'm not the only one that does it. There's one guy it's like a scavenger hunt to see what's going on. You know, that friend from the past that unfriended you after something didn't go down the best way possible. The best friend you had and now you're living separate lives and you still hope that they're doing great. Something big in life happens and you wish they were there but they don't want to be part of your life. Well, he proposed to his girlfriend and is engaged to get married. It was exciting to see and unfortunate knowing that there's so much about him that I don't know anymore.

Now I had already determined that I didn't need to buy a book for myself, but there it was. A book I had read before, started reading again, and unfortunately left in the seat pocket of a plane more than a year ago. In fact I shared a portion of it on the blog before. So there I was, holding this book. A book that I had already read but wanted to read again. Over the last year I looked for it onboard to see if anybody had their own copy but the only versions were on e-readers. I flipped it over to check the price and fortunately it was only 160 Rand, like ten dollars. Of course I had to buy it after wanting to re-read it for so long.

  

In summary; bought it, read it, started reading again, lost it, looked for it, couldn't find it, bought it a second time, and currently rereading it. If you're wondering, yes I would recommend it.

This past field service in Madagascar I think I had the same conversation about twenty times. Probably with only about 5 different people, but one that has an ability to chip away at those walls like they're a master craftsman. Boundaries, why do I keep the walls of my life up so high? Sure I seem to know a lot of people, but how many people actually know me? I'll listen to a friend when they need, but how often do I let a friend listen to what's going on in my life? It seems that I'm the master of short nondescript answers. Yup, ok, yeah, no, kinda, nice, mmhm. That's the extend to what I let out most of the time. People are knocking on my door wanting to know how I'm doing or what I'm up to and they get probably the shortest answer possible.

Thursday morning I was reading Scary Close. If you read the other blog I posted about lessons learned by jumping into a pond you read that:

"To be intimate I'd have to jump" "Then it occurred to me what it was. I wasn't afraid to jump in or swim or to feel the sudden coolness of the water. I was afraid of change.

This time it was the third lesson that hit home:

For the most part, people aren't out to get you.

At some point, I just stopped trusting people. Distrust brings out the worst in people. Am I willing to be hurt occasionally and turn the other cheek on order to have long-term, healthy relationships?

Don was asked about his preferred swimming location; pool, lake or ocean. His response was lake, because in  the ocean you have to deal with jellyfish, seaweed, sharks and whatever else. But his friend responded that the ocean was their preferred place. Saying that "It's worth it to get stung by jellyfish every once in a while. For the occasional sting, you get to go to sleep feeling the waves and you get to giggle with your cousins." At that moment he realized that trying not to get stung by jellyfish is part of the adventure.

To risk yourself in love. It means diving into the unknown, where there are very real dangers, but mostly rewards.

The stories began to collide when I started to actualize that my friend and I taking different paths eight years ago continues to effect me. People aren't out to get me. Distrust brings out the worst in any future relationships. Am I willing to be hurt occasionally and turn the other cheek on order to have long-term, healthy relationships? I have to be willing to get stung by jellyfish to get enjoy the adventure. 

Found from a random Facebook post. 

Hey,
We were inseparable. No one would’ve expected it to go this way, but that’s okay. You helped me through awkward, tough, and uncomfortable times. You were my rock, when I needed stability and my laugh when I was crying. Thank you for being you. You are genuine, kind, and selfless.
But, I’m sorry. I’m sorry we grew apart. We used to mesh so well, but we lost our synchronization so randomly. One day we were laughing at our constant inside jokes and the next we weren’t prioritizing our friendship. But, I don’t have any hostile feelings.
You were the best part of my past. I will look back on our friendship and hope my kids have a friend like I had in you.
Our memories used to sting, but now I enjoy going through the countless pictures. You are so cool and I wish you the best. We both have gone down separate paths, but we’re positively thriving. Keep doing your thing!
I can’t even refer to you as an ex-best friend because that’s far from the truth. We are simply best friends who drifted. I’ll consider you a friend forever though. So no matter the time that passes, if you ever need anything just know I’ll always be here.
I may not understand your facial expressions anymore and I may not be the person you tell everything to anymore, but that’s okay. I had my time in that position and now someone else will be blessed with you.
You had such a positive impact on me when I needed it most. I’m so thankful you were part of that chapter of my life. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it through some of the most horrendous school days.
Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the ridiculous pictures. Thank you for the endless photoshoots. Thank you for providing me with a second family. Thank you for your support. Thank you always for being my best friend.

One last thing to share with my friends that have embarked on the journey known as "life- post the Africa Mercy" Don't forget what you've experienced. It's part of who you are.

What you’re experiencing are the dreaded, and very real post-travel blues. During your adventures you’ve seen too much, experienced too much, been opened up to new cultures and new ways of living. And there’s no going back from that. Your mind has been opened. Your vision has been refreshed, your passion for the world and it’s inhabitants re-ignited, or even discovered. You are an entirely new person. And that is the biggest, and coolest gift travel can give you.

Read More

Hey God,

Friday I was in a meeting and before we went into the info being shared it began with a reminder of a few things. When coming to a decision making time we often believe that there are only two options. Option 1 - Speak up and turn a powerful person into a sworn enemy or Option 2 - Suffer in silence and make a bad decision with bad consequences. Then we were told that those weren’t the only two options. We could be 100% honest and at the same time 100% respectful. Some very edifying statements were made and before we even started discussing I felt like I was attending a formal event because formal events are often full of words and sayings that sound nice but maybe we don’t live out in life actually believing in. The thing is these statements were true and it was a great reminder to start the meeting with.

The next day I started reading Just Courage. The first chapter starts out with this: Christians seem to have the amazing ability to say the most wonderful things without actually believing them.          ….disturbing was the list of things that Christians, like me, actually say-like, blessed are the poor and humble; it’s better to give than receive; judge not, lest you be judged; love your neighbor as yourself, etc.-and examining, one by one, how differently I would live my life if I actually believed such things. As (he) concluded, “The sayings of Christ co-exist passively in their minds, producing hardly any effect beyond what is caused by mere listening to words so amiable and bland.” Do you ever have a conversation with somebody and hear one of those sayings? Do you ever sit in a church service or at a family meal and listen to a prayer and the words that are being said. The prayers can sometimes be lengthily and full of sayings that we’ve heard a million times. I think that’s something that we can all relate to. I can really relate to it.

I was home for just three short weeks in January and February to attend a friends wedding, see family and some of my close friends. The time was short and I didn’t get to see as many people as I would have liked but there’s one moment that I’d like to share with you. One of my closest friends, Ryan; it was his wedding day and before the ceremony started his groomsmen I gathered around him put our hands on him and supported him in prayer, prayed for the ceremony, the day and the many many years that the marriage will glorify the Lord. It was one of the more memorable parts of my trip. There were ten or more people all huddled around him, each knowing Ryan in a different form; Grandfather, father, cousin, long time friend, soon to be father-n-law & brother-n-law. That’s one reason I love weddings so much; Each person present represents a shaping factor in the marriage. We become the people we surround ourselves with. Anyway back to the story. There we were, the guys, praying for Ryan’s marriage and our prayers reflected the many ways that we know him. When I started praying I said “Hey God, thanks for this day to serve...” It’s how I start the prayers I lead in the Food Service devotions, “Hey God, thanks for another day to serve you here on the Africa Mercy.” Right in that moment I realized that I had gone to my default prayer start. This was a wedding, a once in a lifetime event. I had traveled across the world to be there’d support him and there I was using a default prayer. Then I quickly adapted and said, “ to serve you on this day that Ryan and Mickel are getting married…” 

Later on I was a bit aggravated that I had gone to that default and it reminded me that need to be a bit more authentic in my prayers and not use the cookie-cutter sayings that become a habit. But more than that it made me reflect on what I had made a habit of saying, “thanks for another day to serve you”. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. What else are we here on Earth to do? The Westminster Shorter Catechism Question 1 says "Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” John Piper, reformed Baptist pastor, suggested that this would be more correct as “ to glorify God by enjoying him forever. When I made it back to the ship, on a Tuesday morning a couple weeks after the wedding when I was doing the Food Services devotions, I started my prayer “Hey God, thanks for another day to serve you here on the Africa Mercy.” Why? Why did I go back to the default prayer? Because it’s true. I pray that to God and I pray over our team that we would use our gifts and talents to glorify God, strengthen each others weaknesses and serve God as we’re chopping vegetables, making drinks, cooking soups and greeting people coming through the food lines. That as we’re doing each of our tasks that people wouldn’t see the task but see us as serving God.

Read More

I'm really bad at social media

Sure, I can get on FB 10 times a day and see what’s going on in your life, the pictures you post and see the places you’ve been. But when it comes to sharing what’s going on in my life it’s pretty bad. I had been posting on a blog for some time, taking pictures quite often and putting random things on FB regularly but it slowly stopped.

I’ve been home for a week now and one of the most common questions that I get is how’s life without a cell phone? Great! It’s real great when I get to enjoy where I am rather than being distracted by the dinging of a notification or the call of a friend.

Keeping contact with people is hard, really hard when you live on a different continent and the time difference is different for the last 5 people you talked to. It happens though, I keep contact with people. Across the globe, living in places 9-12 hours away (that’s time zones). My mind thinks in time zones. That’s really hard to comprehend I imagine. This friend lives in Seattle, that friend lives in Brisbane. I wish I could talk to him, but he’s in St. Louis and it’s 3 AM there. What’s going on on the ship? I’ll find out in the morning because my friends will responds while I sleep. (I’m not saying any of that to brag, I’m saying it because it’s real. Period.)

What’s going on in your life? That’s the second question I normally get. It’s busy. Really busy some times and some times lots of free time. The thing is I never have time to be bored. During this time at home, I’m visiting friends, driving here, flying there and I have to say it’s busy, but pretty much stress free. My job on the ship is Senior Chef and that means many things. The kitchen workers start at 5 AM and finish at 7 PM. And even when we don’t have people working the food even gets served at midnight for the night shift workers. The job is never over, as soon as one meal is served the other gets started and with my job the prep starts sometimes three months in advance. I was asked on December 23 in the midst of prepping for the Christmas Brunch, “What do you want to cook for Easter? They needed to know in 4 hours." b/c that’s when the order was due in the Netherlands so that it could be purchased, put on a container and shipped to Madagascar. So, if you’re wondering what we’re having for Easter Brunch it’s lamb and ham. 

I’m a big picture person. I like to see the overarching thing that’s going on and see where things are coming from and where they’re going. There’s details in that big picture that are many times hard for me to explain. Many details. Maybe that’s why I’m so bad at social media. Everything I see posted online is small minute details of people’s daily life and I’m often wondering about how their life is, how they’re doing and what their struggles are, because we all have struggles. We’re stronger when we share them.

So, if you see me ask questions. If you see this, send a message. I promise I’ll respond. I think the important thing is to be direct and specific because if you’re not most likely you’ll get “Good, fine, busy, Happy to be home, Glad to see you” And if you get a message from me, it’s because I care about you and how your life is. Maybe not what you had for breakfast or what you’re doing this weekend. But I want to hear about that thing you were worrying about while driving to work. If we’re in the same room, that means you’re pretty important to me. And if we’re not in the same room, yes, you are still important to me the circumstances have it that I can’t be in 10 places at the same time.

Read More

Each tear

I saw you standing there with tears rolling down your cheek,

because the love of a friendship that started on ship.

A ship that gathers people from around the globe,

God brings us together to make the world a better place.

It seems like there's more change in us than the change we cause,

our energies and talents are amplified when we work together.

But then you drove out of sight;

it was so hard after seeing you everyday and now not knowing when the next would be.

Now I'm thankful for the pictures and the memories,

laughing, singing, relaxing and serving together.

Then I was gently reminded,

each tear is actually love.

Read More

Cageless Birds

Spoken Word from song by Jonathan David & Melissa Helser

Standing on the shore of decision looking into the face of adventure

Desire to abandon all I know

What pushes me is rooted somewhere between misunderstanding and knowing

Knowing that what I want is not within my reach

So I ponder my escape not knowing what lies ahead

Adventure in theory is full of excitement and bleeds with passion for life.

But adventure in reality is full of breathless moments, silent nights and wounds that leave scars and memory on a heart

Can I go the distance

Can I give all my mind to get what the messenger is saying

Can I surrender my knowing

Will I survive the humility of ignorance to attain the treasure that earthly gold cannot buy

Will I ask the question of honesty even if the answer convicts my soul and sends me to the land of repentance



All of these thoughts flood my mind
All of these thoughts flood my mind


As I stand on the shore of choosing

And in the distance of my wandering I see with clear eyes a flock of wild beautiful birds

Swooping clearly in my direction as if they see me and are coming for me

How strange it is that their eyes are full of clarity and the melody of their flapping wings sings out



We are coming for you
We are coming for you

Read More

Who's the pilot of your life?

One day I was sitting in the taxi waiting on traffic as I rode to the government offices in Antananarivo. The book I was reading, Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain, started talking about the steam boat pilots. The more I read it the more I was reminded of a sheet I had worked on.  Just the day before I read a chapter in The Utter Relief of Holiness and John Eldredge shared some verses about a good way to start the day in Christ. 

I saved sharing it with you till now, because just last week the ship sailed from Madagascar to South Africa. When the Pilot steps onto the bridge the Captain takes a step back and lets him work. The Pilot directs it to the safest rout and controls the vessel. The Africa is deep in maintenance period now till the end of July. As you read through the following passage from Mark Twain think about who your pilot is. And as the ship is in maintenance period and many of the crew including myself are away think about how much maintenance we need to do on our relationships with, family, friends, our savior and ourselves.

A pilot in those days, was the only unfettered and entirely independent human being that lived in the heart. Kings are but the hampered servants of parliament and people; parliaments sin in chains forged by their constituency; the editor of a newspaper cannot be independent, but must work with one hand tied behind him by party and patrons, and be content to utter only half to two thirds of his mind; no clergyman is a free man and may speak the whole truth, regardless of his parish’s opinions; writers of all kinds are manacled servants of the public. We write frankly and fearlessly, but then we “modify” before we print. In truth, every man and woman and child has a master, and worries and frets in servitude; but in the day I write off, the Mississippi pilot had none. The captain could stand upon the hurricane deck, in the pomp of a very brief authority, and five him five or six orders while the vessel backed into the stream, and then skipper’s reign was over. The moment that the boat was under way in the river, she was under the sole unquestioned control of the pilot. He could do with her exactly as he pleases, run her when and whiter he chose, and tie her up to the bank whenever his judgement said that the course was best. His movements were entirely free; he consulted no one, he received commands from nobody, he promptly resented even the merest suggestions. Indeed, the law of the United States forbad him to listen to commands or suggestions, rightly considering that the pilot necessarily knew better how to handle the boat that anybody could tell him. So here was the novelty of a king without a keeper, an absolute monarch who was absolute in sober truth and not by a fiction of words.

Now look over the verses that John shared. If it's too small right click and open it in a new page.

Who's your pilot. Do you let the Lord direct you without question? When I look back it seems that the times my life seemed shook up were resulted when I tried to make my own decisions. I would encourage you to read through the verses again. It's hard to imagine a bad day after starting it off reading what God did for us in Jesus

Read More

Without a name

Madagascar 

November 2014 - May 2015

303 Cataract and other eye surgeries

261 Maxillofacial surgeries

104 Cleft lip/palate repair surgeries

110 Reconstructive plastic surgeries

193 Hernia repair surgeries

55 Goiter surgeries

51 Lipoma surgeries

19 Women's Health

82 Obstetric Fistula Surgeries

55 Orthopedic Surgeries

That's over 1,100 patients

Without a name a statistic is just a number. 

....why not talk more of the work God is doing in us rather than talk more of the good work we are doing for God ...

So without further ado, here you can read about the work that God has been doing in these patients lives. I can't claim any of these stories. It has all been gathered from my friend Heather Morehouse. She's a ward nurse and has been able to work with many of these patients. You can find the original blog here.

Banay had a bilateral cleft lip and palate..

She has lived the majority of her teen years avoiding people. Now with her new lip she says she finally feels beautiful enough to go out into the world. “I was ashamed,” she says. Her first plan now that she’s left the hospital is to take swimming lessons. She’s always been afraid of the water due to her deformity and now she plans to conquer that fear!

Jocelyn had a tumor near his eye that caused his eye to protrude from his face..

With the tumor removed, Jocelyn can now return to a normal life.

Sambany had a tumor growing on his face for 19 years. He is now a free man..

It took a 12 hour surgery to remove the 16.5lb tumor from his face. Sambany is one of the bravest men I know.. He heard about Mercy Ships and then walked for 2 days and traveled for a total of 4 with his grandson to get to the ship. His surgery was very risky and there was a point where the surgeons did not think that they could operate. They gave him the choice and Sambany chose to go through with the surgery saying, “I know without surgery I will die. I know I might die in surgery, but I already feel dead inside from the way I’m treated. I choose to have surgery.” This man, who endured years and years of reject headed home last week. Our media team is making the long journey home with him and we are all excited to see how his village will respond to Sambany’s changed life!
Here’s a link to the video that tells Sambany’s story.

Zakael had a large cyst on his neck that everyone could see..

Now he can show his infectious smile off without worrying about curious looks from other people.

Romino had bowed legs...

After orthopedic surgery earlier this year his legs are now straight!

Minette  had a 9 lb tumor hanging from her back..

She would do her best to hide her tumor by wearing oversized T-shirts.. Now she’s 9lbs lighter and has changed up her wardrobe!

Salastine and Zafiline wore scarves over their faces to hide their tumors…

Now you can see the hope they carry in the eyes of their beautiful faces.

Read More

Why Mercy Ships, why the Africa Mercy?

Ruben, Jona, Hannah, Elizabeth & Mirjam spelling out my name on the dock. 17 May 2014

Yesterday was my anniversary. The one year anniversary of disembarking the Africa Mercy. The interesting thing is that since that day I've been back onboard for a few days. Yup, I never thought that would happen. In this post I talked about it leaving a whole in my heart, but what really happened was I tried to get away from a calling on my life. The place I'm supposed to be. Through a period of doubting myself and wondering if I could make appropriate decisions I decided to go back to Mercy Ships. Looking back I can see that it was a time for me to realize who I was. Not just continuing on and in a routine because it is easy. Looking back I don't think I would pick another route. Going home, working in New Mexico, meeting great people. living with my parents for two months, being there when my niece was born and Christmas at home. I was able to do all of that while the ship was very uncertain of it's future. Ebola hit just over a year ago and the plans were changed, and changed, and changed again.

The question I'm brought to today is why Mercy Ships, why the Africa Mercy? I've tried to explain it before, words don't really do it justice. Even after almost three years it's a place that can't really be explained. The only way you can really understand is to come for a visit. But, today I'll try to give a you a glimpse.

The first time I heard about Mercy Ships in 2011 I watched a patient story, I'm pretty sure the guy was from Liberia. I can't find it to show you, but here's a video about Vernel from Congo.

Vernel from Mercy Ships on Vimeo.

Now imagine that everyday. I can work for a long time and it doesn't hit me emotionally what we do, but as soon as I see a video it sinks in. It's not that I don't know what's going on, because I do. I get updates 2-3 times a day. Every meal time chances are there's a nurse sitting at my table and when asking how things are going I hear about the patient in bed 9 on D ward or the lady that was just rushed into the O.R. because she started bleeding for an unknown reason. I see friends walking around with signs that they gave blood because we all know that there's a guy getting a large tumor removed tomorrow and he'll need a lot of B+ blood. 

Lives are being changed one after another, day after day. The community of believers showing the love of Christ through medical services and healthcare education. The impact will never be able to be measured.

It's not just medical either. The friend that was going to go out tonight, he can't because the freezers on deck 2 are malfunctioning and he needs to be on standby in case they stop again. Without the freezers we won't have meat to eat for the next two months. The overhead announcement that just went off at 2 A.M. for line handlers, that was because it's cyclone season. The seas are rough tonight and one of the mooring lines just snapped. Mooring lines are what keep us secured to the dock. Without them we would be drifting out to ocean or banging against the dock. The Super Bowl party I got to go to, yeah it started at 11:30 P. M. and yes, the Food Services Manager got up in the middle of the night so that we could have some good food for it. Mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, yes even jalapeno poppers. Because he understand how much it raises the spirit of the crew when they can gather together in the middle of the night to watch something that is so familiar to being at home. 

It's the people gathered from around the world, using their talents and gifts in unison for the goal of showing the love of Jesus through tangible ways.

Read More

To get you thinking.

Two weeks ago I went to the ship for some time off. It's interesting to think about because most people leave the ship when they get time off, but I went to where my heart is. During my time in Tana we work 6 or 7 days straight so being on the ship was some time to not have to worry about flights and government documents.

One joys of getting back to the ship is the library onboard. After a few days I walked in and picked out some things to go through. One I picked up is The Utter Relief of Holiness. It's by John Eldredge the author of Wild at Heart that is pretty popular. I have read several of his books but hadn't heard about this one, it just came out two years ago.

I started reading it, not because it's about holiness, but because John always has a way with words that I am able to take a lot from what he's sharing. The thing is, holiness is something that we all long for. Even if you don't know it. I'm not that far into the book yet, but it give a different perspective of holiness. Often we think about holiness with Saints, Monks living in a Monestary, or the old lady down the street that has been to church 5 times a week for the last 65 years.

Today I want to share with you an excerpt of the book that got me thinking.

Weather you are aware of it or not, you crave goodness. In the depths of your being, you ache for goodness, we all do. Our souls long for a sense of wholeness, and goodness is essential for wholeness. We are made for goodness like we are made to breath, like we are made to love. Goodness is the strength of our condition. Friends, you are going to need a deep and profound goodness for all that is coming for you like a freight train. And there is a way to be good again. It comes to us from such a surprising direction-as almost all of the answers to our deepest needs do-that we'd best begin with a question: What is Christianity supposed to do to a person?

I don't have much else to add to what John has shared, but I do have a bit of an article from Relevant Magazine.

The title is "We're called to make disciples not converts."

1.) Converts are believers who live like the world. Disciples are believers who live like Jesus.
2.) Converts are focused on their values, interests, worries, fears, and lifestyles. Disciples are focused on Jesus.
3.) Converts go to church. Disciples are the church.
4.) Converts are involved in the mission of Jesus. Disciples are commuted to it.
5.) Converts cheer from the sidelines. Disciples are in the game.
6.) Converts hear the word of God. Disciples live it.
7.)Converts follow the rules. Disciples follow Jesus.
8.) Converts are all about believing. Disciples are all about being.
9.) Converts are comfortable. Disciples make sacrifices.
10.) Converts talk. Disciples make more disciples.



What are you doing with your Christianity today?

Read More

Music on my mind

I get a lot out of books and music. Today I want to share three songs that I seem to be returning to. I would suggest reading through the lyrics first or while listening to the songs. 

Zion | Jonathon Helser | Live at Home

We have come to Mt Zion

City of the Living God

Heavenly Jerusalem

By his blood we have come

We have come to Mt Zion

City of Living God

Heavenly Jerusalem

By his blood we have come

By his blood we have come

Thousand angel dance around his throne

Thousands more sing out new song

And Elders thrown their crowns down

As all of heaven sing out

Worthy is the one

Lamb who has overcome

Resurrected Love

 has raised us up again.

Worthy is the one

The Lamb who has overcome

he has concurred death

and I will follow him

He has concurred death

I will follow him

he has concurred death

I will follow him

Fill This Place | Red Rocks Worship | The Roodtop EP

There is a light that burns in the darkness

There is a hope that washes the fear away

There is a peace that settles around us

It is your love that sets our hearts ablaze

There is a light that burns in the darkness

There is a hope that washes the fear away

There is a peace that settles around us

It is your love that sets our hearts ablaze

Father we're on our knees

With every heartbeat we bring you this offering

Lord come and fill this place

Father we're crying out

Spirit we need you now

Glorious love surround us

Lord come and fill this place

There is a king who reigns in victory

There is a mercy strong enough to save

Feel it rising up from the ashes

There is a love that overcame the grave

There is a love that overcame the grave

Father we're on our knees

With every heartbeat we bring you this offering

Lord come and fill this place

Father we're crying out

Spirit we need you now

Glorious love surround us

Lord come and fill this place

Lord come and fill this place

I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always God

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

Father we're on our knees

With every heartbeat we bring you this offering

Lord come and fill this place

Father we're crying out

Spirit we need you now

Glorious love surround us

Lord come and fill this place

I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always God

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

and I'll worship you

I'll worship you

I will worship you always

It is well | Kristene DiMarco | You Make Me  Brave

Grander Earth has quaked before

Moved by the sound of his voice

Seas that are shaken and stirred

Can be calmed and broken for my regard

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on you

Through it all, through it all

It is well

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on you and it is well with me

Far be it for me to not believe

Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me

Will be thrown into the midst of the sea.

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on you

Through it all, through it all it is well

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on you and it is well

So let go my soul and trust in him

The waves and wind still know his name

So let go my soul and trust in him

The waves and wind still know his name

So let go my soul and trust in him

The waves and wind still know his name

The waves and wind still know his name

It is well

with my soul

It is well

with my soul

It is well

with my soul

It is well, It is well with my soul

It is well

With my soul

It is well

With my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

Through it all, through it all my eyes are on you Lord

Through it all, through it all it is well

Through it all, through it all my eyes are on you Lord

And it is well with me

Read More

The be attitudes

 ~ the way that we should be according to a sermon given by Jesus.

I started reading through the Gospels, the first four books of the New Testament, and today I got to Mark 5. Well, let me restate that. I've been reading through the Gospels chronologically. It mixes all four books according to the time in witch they actually happened. You can find a reading plan here if you'd like to try it yourself sometime. I've done the Old Testament and the New Testament at different times, when I came to Madagascar in February I decided to focus on Jesus's Ministry because I don't know any better person to study. I haven't done it as regularly as I should, but I'm getting through it.

Each day I write down a few notes of what Jesus did, what he'd been through, or what he said. Sometimes you can read through a chapter and it's rather uneventful or sometimes you will read two or three versions of the same story. It 's repetitive but it solidifies the story in your mind. Through the years I've heard the stories of Jesus but I don't always know where they are found, so when it said Matthew 5,6 & 7 I didn't think twice. After opening my Bible and seeing that Matthew 5 is the sermon on the mount and starting with the Beatitudes I realized that there would be a bit more work today. I read the whole section, but decided to break down the first ten verses, the Beatitudes.

I'm by far no Biblical scholar. I read the text, wrote it down (ESV) and broke it down according to Strong's Concordance. You can find a lot of resources at Blue Letter Bible. Some of the words I continued to break down by looking up their definitions on various websites. Please don't take this as my version of the Bible. It's just for me to better understand what has been said. I'm only sharing it because I know from experience that hearing verses that we've all heard before can easily go in one ear and out the other. Seeing and reading them in a different way can easily bring a different light onto their meaning.

So without further ado.

The Beatitudes

Happy is one with a helpless and needy soul for they will own a seat in eternal and complete perfection, where God and other heavenly beings dwell.

Happy is one who mourns for they will be consoled, encouraged and strengthened.

Happy is one who accepts his dealing with God as good and therefore doesn't rely on his own strength to defend against injustice for they will receive the earth.

Happy is one who wants and longs to be acceptable to God for they shall be satisfied.

Happy is the compassionate for they will obtain aid when distressed.

Happy is the one whose thoughts, passions, desires, appetite, affections, purpose, and endeavors are clean for they will behold the triune God.

Happy are those who love peace for the will be given the name of descendant of God.

Happy is the harassed due to seeking to be as he ought to be for they will own a seat in eternal and complete perfection, where God and other heavenly beings dwell.

Blessed, blessing

After doing my own little breakdown I looked up the word Beatitudes. I was surprised to see it described as "Eight Blessings" When I looked up blessed in Strong's Concordance it gave me the Greek word  μακάριος or makarios which means happy. It was comforting to see it translated as that way. The common use of "i'm blessed, is such a blessing, or to bless" has puzzled me the last few years. If you have any insight on this topic please let me know.

Read More

Don't tell God what you want.

Seven week's I've been working on the Remote Capital Team. It's everything that they told me. Busy when the crew arrive, busy when the crew leave. Waiting for paperwork in the government offices. A lot of down time in between the rest. The last sentence could be one of the biggest understatements of the year. 

I've found myself with a lot of time to fill. In some of that time I've read a few books. (over 2,200 pages) I thought over a few things that I wanted God to answer wrote them down on a piece of paper. It was kinda like a checklist to go through. After looking at it a few days later I realized it was a list of things that I wanted. A bunch of things that I wanted and He wasn't answering most of them.

I was reminded of this video a few weeks ago. Found it online. Opened up a new page to post in, and added the video link to it. The thing is it just sat there unfinished for almost two weeks now. Two weeks filled with wrestling with what God wants me to do. There have been many "rounds" in the fight. Because, you see, I'm really stubborn. 

The day that I left St. Louis could possibly be one of the biggest spiritual battles of my life. It started the most recent campaign of battling God's plan. I woke up 10 minutes before I was supposed to leave. That's completely against my nature. As I rushed around my room the voices were everything but audible. Why are you going? Why don't you stay here? Just miss your flight. You're leaving people that love you. We left about 20 minutes late at least. I don't even remember much about the ride up, but I know the dialogue continued. When checking into my flight and was charged an additional $100 for a bag. As I sat with my mom before going through security we watched a lady struggle with her bag, it was very symbolic of how I was struggling with myself. When I went through security I fought back tears. Even as I walked down the terminal to find my gate the dialogue continued. Traveling long distance getting to the initial flight is the hardest, after that it's all according to the airlines. When I finally sat in my seat; luggage stowed away and seat-belt buckled I asked God, "Please don't ever make me leave again."

Wow, those words came out of my mouth. I wouldn't have expected that. For thirteen years I had been leaving to go on summer missions, school, camp ministry, Africa, New Mexico. I was always excited to go and now I was done. I wanted nothing more than to have some consistency in my life. It was so foreign to me that right after I said it I thought, "O, I must have meant something else by that, I'll think of an excuse for it at some point. 

So yeah, with all my "down time" there has been a lot of battling. God wants to chisel me into His image, I want to tell him what I want.

Here's the video. I urge you to stop whatever seven things you're doing right now and watch this video. If you're too busy make sure to come back later when you have the time to focus. You'll see some of the lines I pulled out of the dialogue. If it was a book these would be the highlighted part. 

This font shows me. Really, I have asked these questions. Made these statements.

This font show's God's response. It's full of truth and love.

I want to be everything God created me to be.

He takes out everything in your life that doesn't belong there.

We want to talk, not to chisel.

Through the Holy Spirit things are brought up that need to be worked on.
Anger. Comparison. People pleasing. Laziness. Busyness. LUST. 

When looking in the mirror who is seen? We need to see the Son.

Do we want God to be Lord over our whole life?

You've done some great work, how about a break, stay right here for a while? 

Control? Chisel? control, chisel, control, chisel ???

Chisel where I want?

CONTROL

Secret Sin. 

It's a process, not a sprint, a marathon. It's our whole life

We care too much what others think about you. Rubbish, Garbage.

You're asking me to sacrifice a lot God!

He gives us freedom

Let Him produce character where we keep focusing on our image.

I can't be good.

He made us to be good

You wouldn't understand.

God of the whole universe wouldn't understand something his children have to say??

I let you down God.

No, He holds us up.

I hate who I see, a little kid. I try to do what I'm supposed to do but I can't. I Can't be what everyone else expects me to be. I can't even be who I want to be, much less who you created me to be
Inside is a scared stupid little kid.

We have listened to voices, far to long not from God. We bought into the lie. We think we're junk.

God doesn't take time to make junk.

He loves us too much to leave us where we are.
Work it out in every detail of your life.
A father disciplines the ones he loves.

See ourselves the way God created us.


_____________ is God's original MASTERPIECE

Now listen to this on repeat about 30 times and it will all start to set in.

Read More