Digging deeper

It's midnight and I'm sitting behind the counter at the Starbucks cafe. I find my self here almost every night serving the nurses and night shift workers of the Africa Mercy. It's not something I really talk about much, but the nurses really love it. That's why I continue to find myself awake at the wee hours of the morning.

 Today one of my best friends left the ship. It's been a really rough day. Many of you have been to a week long conference, camp, mission trip, or vacation and know what it's like to say goodbye to a place or a group of people. You think it's really hard, but you get through it knowing that everybody else that was there is going through the same thing. Well here at Mercy Ships we say goodbye to people on a regular basis. The people we work with, the people we eat our meals with, the people we hang out and play games with, the people that we serve Christ with, the people that we love because they're so amazing. With being here almost thirteen weeks I've said goodbye to so many people that it almost takes the meaning out of saying goodbye or I'll miss you.

 I was sitting eating lunch with my friend James today before he left. As he looked around the room trying to process the fact that he was saying goodbye to the place he called home for the last two months he said "Everything keeps going." to witch I replied, "The ship must continue to sail." He was commenting on how as his time with Mercy Ships was coming to and end the lives of all 400 other people continues to troll along at the same pace. I hope he realizes that even though this place continues to operate that the lives that he touched won't be the same; patients that he helped admit into the hospital on his days off, day workers that he cared enough to spend the night with, local fishermen whose life he wanted to experience so much that he woke up early several morning to try and go out into the ocean with, galley crew members that he served with listening to their life story and giving them advice and encouragement to, friendships he formed playing ping-pong in the dinning room till one in the morning. James is such a great guy that I could continue to writing about the great things that he has done while he served on the Africa Mercy but I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it, he just came to love and serve the Lord. James like myself is going home to uncertainty, he's not sure what God has in store for him. This past spring he graduated with a degree in psychology and pre-physician assistant. He's worked previously as an EMT but since he didn't have enough experience he was placed in the galley to feed the crew. As he goes home I pray that God will continue to use him in unexpected and unexplainable ways.

 Earlier this evening as I was unraveling today's happenings with a friend I compared Mercy Ships to drugs. Not that I have any experience with them, but if I were to imagine. I imagine that they are similar in the way that when you get involved with them the more you give to them, the more you get involved with them the more it hurts you. And as you try to heal from being hurt you find yourself diving deeper into the same things that caused it. I'm not sure if you can see the relevance there. Maybe you can, but as I find myself getting hurt by saying goodbye to the friends I love I know that tomorrow when I wake up I will continue to make more friendships to heal what has been broken today. A cycle that will continue till the day that I leave this ship. I pray that it will be easy, but to be honest I know with out a doubt it will be much harder than I can imagine, even harder that it was for me to decide to come on this journey. So until then you'll find me here in Starbucks at midnight serving these people that I love.