I am
terrified of the future. I started thinking about my friends, my family, my
career, what I enjoy doing and it really made me start thinking. Everyone
always has those dreams when they're kids about how they'll have the
"perfect:" job, the "perfect" family, the "perfect"
life, etc. and then you get older and those ideas start becoming more an more
ridiculous until finally you decide to set "realistic" goals.
So
I found myself with a bit of a dilemma. Either I shoot for something completely
insane and risk everything to do it (which I have) or I take the safe, mundane
path which seems to be the "social norm" these days. To me that seems
more like an easy option, but I know neither rout is easy. I know my friends
and family at home have the same trials and problems that I do. Does having a
normal, average, boring life appeal to me? I find it interesting how much we
use the sayings "normal" "in real life" "in a world
where you actually get paid" around the ship. We talk about it so much like
living and working on the Africa Mercy is not real. It's not normal to be
living on a ship with 38 other nationalities serving some of the poorest people
in the world, but still we seek to live as much as a normal life as possible
for the sake of comfort.
Do I want to be just another person who came
and went without as much as a whimper in the grand scheme of things? Not at
all!! Nobody wants that, but some people settle for it every day!
There is a phrase “You Only Live Once” -Y.O.L.O. it came into existence and now
some people have an excuse to do stupid stuff. If you think about it you really
do only have one life! You were given ONE and you should strive to make it
count as much as you can, not just because of a phrase. This takes me back to
my dilemma. Why would I ever strive for the normal safe route? The reason
everybody does is because of fear. You're scared to fail. You're scared to be
made fun of. You're scared to be turned down. And believe me; I am in that boat
too. Otherwise I wouldn't be worried. I surely don't want to fail to achieve my
dreams but I definitely don't want to give up on them without at least giving
everything I have.
So I've decided that the best way
to combat this is to write them down and learn to work around them or
ironically grow out of them. Here are the some that I thought of immediately
and hope to overcome.
1. I
never want to lose contact with my friends. They are by far the coolest people
I have ever met and losing them would be devastating. Let your friends know
they mean a ton to you because I can’t imagine my life being the same if I
hadn't met a single one of them.
2. I
don’t want to live a life controlled by debts.
3. I
want a job that makes me happy. I want to be in a position where I can thrive,
using the talents that the Lord has given me and bring more glory to HIM.
4. I
want personal life with my current family and future personal family
that will be an example to those around me.
5. I
don’t want to be forgotten. I want a life of purpose. I want to live a life
that leaves a legacy of faith in Christ for my children.
I have to make a change on many things like
how I face challenges, my work ethic, my outlook on my future, and so on. I
know that this year is going to be a bit crazy for me with all the changes that
have already happened. Losing contact with my friends has been one of my
biggest fears. I do have to admit that I have dropped the ball and not been in
constant contact with many but that doesn't mean that I don't think about you
ALL the time. I want to stay in touch with my friends as best I
can. As for having a happy personal life, that will take extra effort
considering I don't live in the same city, state, or country as my
family. Talking on the phone has a 5-6 hour time difference and the next time I
will see them is still unknown.
Finally,
living a life of faith is something that I will have to continue to do on a
daily basis for it to even begin to be something that I am remembered for.
Purpose is different to everyone but I think that I've personally set
my sights pretty high out of instinct. I don’t like the idea of not making a
change to the world. Most if not all artist love what they do because it makes
them happy and it makes other people happy and what else could be better than
that. So I’m confident that when God puts it on my heart to create something or
use another one of my God given talents for His purpose I’ll be able to make a
positive change with it.
I’m
terrified of what’s ahead of me. Will I be happy with my accomplishments? I
could ask questions all day but what really matters is how I’ll take on these
challenges when they appear in front of me. My plan is to be the person the
Lord is forming me into and not let my fears control me. I never want live a
life of regrets. I want to be the person in charge of my life and I don’t want
to be afraid. If you take anything from this I hope it inspires you to be a
better friend, stranger, employee, or whatever. Just go out and make something
memorable with your life. And remember, laugh - because you'll feel better and
put a smile on those around you.
